Also, now I know how to fix stuff. How to Make a Girl Chase You Over Text After Sex, mother is at a loss as to why her husband is driving her daughter, reason is that hes trying to save his daughter, My Boyfriend And His Daughter Act Like A Couple (10 Solutions), Boost Your Friends Mood with These Short Positive Affirmations, Why Some People Are Jealous of Your Success, 110 Millionaire Affirmations to Attract Wealth, 10 Ways To Get a Busy Man to Make Time for Love, 51 Emotional Wellness Goals to Transform Your Life. Its not easy being caught in the middle, but its important to remember that you cant please everyone all the time. She's madly in love with him but it seems he's no nearer to noticing her feelings than he was when she started. A lot of painful disappointments in life. What?! Our 17-year-old son is still at home but can't wait to leave to get away from the constant friction and ill-feeling around the house. You got a long with him just fine before she got in to this stage in life, and you need to act like a grown-up every once in a while, because this guys is losing his wife and his daughter, partly because you want to be her friend more than her parent all of the time. Find your shared interests and go from there? 6napkinburger This young girl sounds like shes already quite cultured! Taking the Keys Away: What to Do If a Senior Won't Stop Driving - AgingCare But the most consistent and deep internal driver is the terror of being controlled. This is the one person in the entire world who truly has your back. I get that it is tough to have her be mad at you sometimes even though you really enjoy the things she does, but that is just part of being a parent, and keeping a healthy marriage. I consider myself mature and intelligent, yet Ill still watch mindless shit sometimes. It also says the father is critical about her lack of competitiveness, initiative, and how she is uninformed. 6napkinburger Ask Erin: I'm Exhausted By My Daughter's Depression | Ravishly July 2, 2013, 12:51 pm. (I should note now that I have 2 sisters and a brother, but this is before the younger two were born. Here are 5 common ways I unintentionally pushed my husband away. LW, I think encouraging your daughter to spend time with her dad is so important. Hes a good person, but our relationship as two adults is not a close one and at times feels forced on my end because I still dont know how to be myself around him. Cover your daughter and her husband with generous . My mistake then we read the play and watched the movie, and they went NUTS for the story. Ive never had anyone go, Oh my gawwwwwwd, PL, whyyyyyyyyyy? Im guessing that you probably make comments about him every so often to your daughter. The eye-rolling and making the daughter feel bad about her interests is not cool. So, I have actually always been closer with my dad to be honest. I felt like he was listening, he felt like he was involved.. And theyre relationship suffered because my dad never made an effort to step up and show interest in what he was interested in. When crazy-making partners are not driven by malevolent motives, they are very open to changing their behavior if it is pointed out in a non-judgmental environment. Sounds to me like not only is dad not interested in or even bothering to take an interest in any of his daughters interests, but he also disparages them and her calling her uninformed, lacking initiative and uncompetitive and bitches because she isnt more like what he wants her to be like. Not while professing such love for me and genuinely remorseful when Im upset. July 2, 2013, 11:53 am. So sad. I mean when she was a toddler did he demand that the Disney tunes never be played in favor of classical!?! Your husband and your daughter are both geeks at heart, which is encouraging. Keeping your cool under stress, responding as calmly as you can, and walking away when you find yourself unable to keep calm are completely within your power and help you claim the power in your home. July 2, 2013, 12:33 pm. Anything! He is also very critical of both of us, but particularly of her lack of competitiveness (she hates team sports, and takes archery and piano but only for fun), lack of initiative, and being uninformed,, Yep. Thats still not OK. Sometimes it can be a simple matter of communication, or a lack thereof. Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. After all, the child is innocent and helpless, while the spouse is an adult who can take care of themselves. Hah! Just because FOX cancelled Firefly doesnt mean its not awesome anymore. Actually, my husbands a pretty big fanboy in general. From Voyager, for some odd reason, The Q and the Grey really struck a chord with me and actually made me challenge all of my beliefs regarding what is beyond humanity. How so? He did crossword puzzles so I sat down next to him so I could learn and now we do them together. I mean freak out and force your kid to read something if they cant, not if you dont like that they choose to read Harry Potter in their free time. Cant even describe how much I hate hate hate them!! So, so not like me. Totally agree on the respect issue. I got the same vibe you did. July 3, 2013, 12:54 am, Uh oh some you will be called BSLBH. The wife should be supportive of his efforts, but he needs to act like a grown man and stop being so selfish. And he doesnt have to hide that. I enjoyed it so much, I went both mornings. Thats true, I had that thought that maybe the mom and daughters perspective on assignments was skewed. Im sure he didnt really care about the Anne of Green Gables books or obscure Star Wars characters. July 2, 2013, 4:12 pm, See, I think that is horrible of your stepfather. I see it as a dad getting short changed and mom monopolizing time with daughter. So how did she find out about it? Ive been there. July 2, 2013, 1:32 pm. He(now) jokes that he and my mom missed out on the music of the 80s (and therefore dont know any of it) because they were listening to the wheels on the bus on repeat for the entire decade. lets_be_honest Its her birthday today So Im taking her out for a steak dinner and then were going to watch fireworks (which she has decided the city has put on for her). The idea that you want your husband to now turn into what YOU probably secretly have always wanted him to be a fellow fanboy! I hiked and canoed. My ex-husband had custody for 6 1/2 years. He should show her that he can make an effort to enjoy her interests and encourage her in the same spirit to enjoy his. Seriously though, Joss Whedon writes amazing TV his shows are some of the best the medium has to offer. Do I wish shed made more of an effort to hang out with me sometimes and like the stuff I liked? The Inner Light, frequently hailed as one of the most poignant sci-fi television episodes of all time. Think of it this way: the car insurance typically follows the car, not the driver. Seriously, though I obviously realize the error of my ways now My point being that while my dad exposed me to things that interested him, he also jumped feet first into things that interested me and NEVER EVER made me feel silly or stupid because I was a 12 year old who liked things that other 12 year olds did. He wants to force his daughter to conform to the kind of person who enjoys the things that he does, and cutting her down for not being competitive (which usually means involved in team sports) and forcing her to do homework to his liking is not the same as an involved parent working to help his child become well rounded. Why Is My Husband Driving My Daughter Away (15 Reasons) Hes so dreamy, if not annoyingly alpha-male-y. I see his point to some extent. 23 Signs Your Partner Is Mentally Abusive - Bustle Maybe even consider making those things, like hiking or whatever, family events, so that its not a choice between a fun thing with mom and a thing she doesnt like as much with dad. lets_be_honest My feeling is that its closer to the first scenario, and the LW is making it seem worse than in is. I simply didnt get it.) Extend invitations on appropriate occasions. WE cant watch anything on TV or listen to anything in the car related to her interests while hes around, and if WE are talking about something he will sometimes break in and tell US to stop because it annoys him. And her ongoing view that this somehow makes her the better parent is definitely bordering on malicious, I got into I Love Lucy and Bewitched thanks to my mom!! ), and Vietnam, but he doesnt care much about the hippie culture, so even though I love that, we skip that. Beware of These 5 Ways You May Unintentionally Push Your Man Away I dont see the comparison between telling a small child about healthy eating habits and forcing them to eat veggies and this situation. I was in bed, asleep. lets_be_honest Obviously, this is as much your husbands job as it is yours, but right now it seems hes threatened by the bond you share with your daughter and is acting childish. Here are 16 ways husbands can unintentionally push their daughters away: It can be difficult to maintain a good relationship between your husband and your daughter, but there are a few things you can do to help. Its not his thing, and as an adult I respect that (now the two of us nerd out talking about law related stuff since I just got my J.D. I think most people worry about their daughters if they arent active enough and lay around watching tv or reading too much. Or other strategy games (Small World, Ivanhoe, Nuns on the Run) might be a great way for all of you to connect. Wow, Im glad Im not the only one whose beliefs on the cosmos/humanity have been influenced by Star Trek. Thats unfortunate (to say the least! No. You might have started asking yourself, Is this person taunting me on purpose? Plus he writes strong female characters, which is good for any girl growing up to identify with. And dont EVER talk negatively about one spouse to your children. Skyblossom If a father is not present in his daughters life, she may feel neglected and unloved. We watched Space Camp WAY too many times and tried astronaut ice cream together. Their partners also need to understand that most of the sabotaging behavior is not only unintended but carries significant grief and guilt with it. We try to make it fun and do it as a family (not go to your room and read 3 Nat Geo articles and I want a full report) and often make games of it. Seems to notice every bad thing they do but rarely praises. Oh trust me, the Buffy fanbase is alive and strong just go check out r/Buffy! But I cant help but think if you were only into cheerleaders, makeup and boys, that it would have been GOOD of your stepfather to encourage you to read more, even if it meant saying something along the lines that youd regret not knowing more about the literary world or about current events. My Husband Hates My Daughter! 4 Ways To Fix A Broken Relationship What kind of history and science is your husband into? Aaaaah! Finally, try to create opportunities for one-on-one time between your husband and daughter.