Go on. . Who is this, babe? This is the worst day of my life! I didn't do anything! Four judges in outrageous costumes sit behind it. He's over there, under those coats. MRS WORMWOOD But even you, Bruce, MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. Can I ask you a question? ], MISS HONEY . The lackey is wearing a shirt that reads "Wormwood Moturs". google_color_border="EDC7C2"; To survive this mess by Being a prince or a princess. I didn't, I was on the garage roof. RG0 100 Funny Pick Up Lines - These are guaranteed to make her laugh! A bell rings. If anything, caution in these situations is sensible. I think he blinked. 101 Best Pick Up Lines: Cheesy, Funny, Cute - Parade: Entertainment Mr. Wormwood: MRS WORMWOOD brushes past MATILDA with a sound of utter disgust. MATILDA Smells chocolatey, eh? NIGEL As the hammer took off, did I change my grunt Oil of Violets hair tonic. I can! . A party entertainer enters with balloons. I hate pigtails! [picks up two bowls of cereal] Wormwood! Absolute silence. Students: And that's not right. There's, erm . What are you talking about? [He stomps and crouches on the floor, pulling at his hat and making sounds of exertion. Matilda: And expensive, $9.25 for a bar of soap? What was my profit for the day? Agatha Trunchbull: You'd better hide! Smile for mummy, smile for mother. Matilda lies down and flicks off the light. . One should avoid confrontation when possible. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, Dad too. Who the hell do they think they are? 2. Don't take me to Chokey! Dip face! My skin looks just revolting in this foul, fluorescent light. It's not mine! 1. No! Amanda Thripp: A little less zzz, a lot more zing. The distance the shotput goes, depends upon the effort that you PUT INTO IT. I've had them since I was big enough to Xerox. Well, I'll pay you back, young lady. MISS HONEY Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. Your parents must be so proud to have a girl as clever as you. You? Because you're pretty darn sweet. A few! MISS TRUNCHBULL strides to the board. Ow! MRS WORMWOOD and RUDOLPHO [She puts the book in the cupboard and hurries to the hat rack with a bottle reading "sooper gloo". But Matilda can calculate complicated figures in her head in an instant! [hands Michael the cookies] The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. Jenny: All I can say is, thank heavens Michael has inherited his old man's brains, eh, son? The end is happier. Yes. Their furniture is wheeled off the stage and a hat rack with MR WORMWOOD's hat and an umbrella is brought center stage. Sign in|Recent Site Activity|Report Abuse|Print Page|Powered By Google Sites. MR WORMWOODLook what I've just found! MATILDA enters from her bedroom. They say she's going to put me in Chokey! . A spotlight searches the theater. LAVENDER Look at you trying to hide, silly. Jenny: Cake. FBI Agent Bob: 4. . [She grabs a baton with a yellow ribbon attached to it and starts twirling to the music.] You know, sometimes I think there's something wrong with that girl. I love my school it isn't fair! What a pleasure to see you. Four times two is eight. "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.". Brand new stock, sir! Yeah! I shall pound you. Mrs. Wormwood: Agatha Trunchbull, principal, Crunchem Hall Elementary School. What is this trash you're reading? That is a promise. Let alone getting the conversation going! Special guest towards the end. Yes. . The DOCTOR, MR WORMWOOD, and a male nurse enter. Just write. MR WORMWOOD There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle as . The less you have to say, the louder you yell it. 125 Best Tinder Pick Up Lines (Plus, Bumble Pick Up Lines) - Parade Take hints from the ideas to charm and impress her with your words during your first meeting. Wouldn't you agree, Miss Honey? Ev-er-y life is unbelievably unlikely. Miss Honey: MRS PHELPS And sailed high up, up above the stands google_ad_client="pub-0578131977065548"; Knock on the door, Jenny. A flaming escapologist? . I don't believe Matilda's that kind of child at all. [realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt], [Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house]. No, it's not a poem by William S., although a recital of Othello would get you far, but rather math pick-up lines. MRS WORMWOOD MR WORMWOOD I have my ion you. Now, the secret to my success in business is . And yet, every single life, See how they shine? The scene unfreezes. CHILDREN and COUPLES arrange themselves behind it. Can't you sell good cars, Dad? MRS PHELPS . Follow. Now, look at you, and look at me. [He laughs then peters out.] Oh no, Headmistress. A child. COUPLE 2 [He finally gives up and straightens up casually.] I am off to bleach my roots . You liked my cake, didn't you, Bruce? And . What poem would that be? Yesterday, she caught Julius Rottwinkle eating a gobstopper during science. And remember to be eXtremely careful. MATILDA . One look at my face and it's plain to see. Ah-ah-aah-ah. MATILDA But I've got a baby! The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. MISS HONEY enters and turns away in shock. What's what, Ms. Trunchbull? The seed of a war in the creak of a floorboard. Harry Wormwood: PERSPERATION! [she lunges the ball at the door, ultimately puncturing it immensely]. MRS WORMWOOD Maryn Liles Feb 17, 2023 It's no lie that online dating. . MISS TRUNCHBULL grimaces as the purple spotlight leaves her. There's more the second part. Bye-bye, sir. . So give me more cake! Agatha Trunchbull: [to MATILDA] This is your fault. The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS hang their heads. . Yes. Trunchbull: Matilda: I ate the lot! Of course! She stands paralyzed in fear. Oh, my head! Harry Wormwood: Watch as her eyes light up and her smile turn into an impressed grin. Now: Matilda Pick Up Lines - jouou.rocks Please! [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. FBI Agent Bob: She puts down the large block and MATILDA stands on it. Jenny: Ever since the day doc chopped the umbilical cord, Miss Honey: I like a joke as well as the next fat person! Now, here's a tip: Narrator: I did not! Matilda (1996) - Quotes - IMDb Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? I got carried away. So, Matilda. Pp6Q &_!Ekp?$w_AG[nU6v^^Wo:9o>:. I think you'll want your trousers loose. And please don't say "the gym.". Hey, Dip face. DOCTOR [interrupting] MRS PHELPS enters. BIG KIDS What you know matters less Every new life MISS HONEY He should have thought of that before he made a pact with Satan and decided to steal my cake! "thinking". . ". And if you can't read sentences, you've got no chance with books. That I'm as tiny and as shiny as a mirror ball. MATILDA 30+ Dr. Seuss Pick Up Lines (Cheesy, Funny & Dirty) - 2023 40 Best Pick-Up Lines From Around The World That Actually Work - mondly.com My mummy says I'm a precious barrelina. You spend us into trouble and you expect me to get us out. Stop! 'Cause if you're little, you can do a lot. Go on, Brucey! The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. The initial impression you make is memorable, so make it count. And if you want to make the team, The boy's a looney. And people would come from miles around: kings! 100 Best Tinder Pickup Lines for All Your 2023 Matches - Reader's Digest I might have known. The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. BRUCE It was the biggest burp I had ever done. The stage goes black. MR WORMWOOD Please! Now go watch TV like a good kid. You're going to hug all the air out of me. When all had quietened down, she stepped forward and produced . You're off to school in a few days' time. Just you wait for phys-ed. Two times . MR WORMWOOD unwraps the blanket that the baby is swathed in. She puts it down on the desk behind BRUCE. You'll never again be subject to abuse for your immense caboose. I don't want any, thank you. These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won't make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. "The books transported her into new worlds and introduced her to amazing people who lived exciting lives. The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. But it's a truth empirical. Wait, Dad, you're going too fast. From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. In a manner of speaking, yes. And as time passed, they grew quite old, and still they had no child. Oh, no, Matilda. . NIGEL and I shan't be talking to you for the rest of the evening, you horrid little man! You should stay out of trouble, The children begin to pop up from behind the table and speak. Oh, my lovely hair! Mind? Stop being pathetic, Jenny. . "There's more than one Whomping Willow at Hogwarts, you know.". Harry Wormwood: You gotta be loud! Narrator: When I grow up . abilities. . Innocent victims of their story. The Birthday table is wheeled back in by other children. Hey, sleep with me.I am not scary.I'm really rich.I'm Drew Carey. 2. Or just a coincidence? Connections See more ideas about pick up lines funny, pick up lines cheesy, pick up lines. Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. It must be wonderful for a child to be so wanted. What about me, then? We all get carried away sometimes. MRS PHELPS A model of a grand old house rolls in from the back of the stage. They say it's a cupboard in her office that she throws children into. MRS WORMWOOD I'll come back later, then. Nothing will change. There's never been a miracle, a miracle, a miracle How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here? MR WORMWOOD She'll call a truce, Bruce. [She throws the baton across the stage, does a jet to catch it, and points her finger at MISS HONEY.] "It is our destiny ". Write this down. MR WORMWOOD The table stops and the hands hit the ground. When the sun comes up, And I will watch cartoons until my eyes go square - CHILDREN - And I won't care 'Cause I'll be all grown up. [Matilda arrives home from school late at night after Bruce Bogtrotter's encounter with the Trunchbull] 3. MATILDA Look at you hesitating. He's my dance partner. Hide me! I shall consign you to the seventh circle of hell, child. Matilda: MATILDA [to MICHAEL] Get up, boy. Standing up for the little spit-ball, are you? And the 4th cost $1,100. They're all mistakes, children! [Matilda uses her powers to slam her bedroom door in Harry's face just as he reaches it]. The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. MATILDA In . Miss Honey, please don't let them Harry Wormwood: For this newt you pin-worm! Leave it alone, Jenny. One times two is two. MISS TRUNCHBULL Just because you find that life's not fair, it They say she's lined it with nails, and spikes, and bits of broken glass. It was like the entire world went silent for that burp to exist. BIG KIDS Whee! The great feat was instantly forgotten, and the applause went on for nearly an hour. And I've told her all about you and your smarty-pants ideas. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. But I'm his little soldier. Would rob them of their hope of living happily. School? MISS TRUNCHBULL Wormwood! Oh, yes. Thank you for suggesting it. Why? Eleven times two is twenty-two. Oh, parle Italiano? What do I have to do to gain respect around here? As long as you dont know it with the volume up. They are good runners, sir. The curtain is wheeled away to reveal MRS WORMWOOD. MRS WORMWOOD Mr. Wormwood: [She wraps her hands around MATILDA.] In my class, that is, er, there is a little girl called Matilda Wormwood. Agatha Trunchbull: She just picked him up, swung him around, and threw him out the . My daddy says I'm a bore. Creep on back to that library of yours or something. MATILDA RUDOLPHO Of course you didn't do it, you little twit. Here we are, my heartstrings! . Of course I am. . Not a detail of my throw was adjusted or forgotten. He flails around the stage.] MATILDAThe moved into a beautiful old house at the edge of town, and in the evenings, they would walk and take the air. Agatha Trunchbull: Just knock on the door . Overall, the best pickup line is one that is creative and original. I think you've got something in your eye. AAHHH! She laughs. Claiming that they know stuff we don't know. DOCTOR Sued by who? [to MRS WORMWOOD] Would you please shut up? We must find out how it ends. The 3rd cost $68. Sell me a lemon? [He sits down in a zen position.]. MATILDA pauses for several moments, holding the dolls in front of her contemplatively. I'm not crying because it's sad. Stood! A little less flat, a lot more heel. I can pretend I'm an . I am trying to pull off the biggest business deal of my life and I have to listen to this. [on the phone, yells] . Oh, hello, Miss Trunchbull. This morning, you sneaked like a serpent into the kitchen and stole a slice of my private chocolate cake from my tea tray. When the hinges creak and the door is closed, Platinum blonde hair dye. I am FULLwhen and onlywhen the Headmistress says I am FULL. Psst! But to me, they tell a deeper story. MR WORMWOOD grabs his suitcase and exits along with the lackey. If you always take it on the chin and wear it, MR WORMWOOD, towel wrapped about his shoulder, enters the bathroom with MICHAEL. In the slip of a bolt, there's a tiny revolt. Well? They performed some of the most incredible feats together anyone has ever seen. Harry Wormwood: The endings are often a little bit gory! And that's not right. | They then saunter off. MRS WORMWOOD I can't abandon my children. . A baby, Mrs Wormwood. Find the bally line and toe it, MATILDA BRUCE Matilda: Nothing will change. I mean, I know you say you didn't, but obviously, you did. Okay. Now, get out of here, you little stink worm! I heard Meowth's not the only mischievious pussy in town. . The apple never rots far from the tree! 1. That I treated the rules with casual disdain? MISS HONEY is left in a pile stage right. If you're being smart with me, young lady, you're going to be punished. When you turn the corner, when you go to your cubbies to get your smelly coats, when you skip merrily to lunch, I'll be watching you, all of you, and especially you. MISS TRUNCHBULL You gotta get up! Rudolpho! Yeah. RUDOLPHO enters from behind a gap in the curtain behind her. MISS HONEY exits off the front of the stage. If you're stuck in your story and want to get out, You missed it. "Hi, My Name Is [insert name]." I'd say this one is the number one pick-up line of all time. . CHILDREN He'll probably think he's in bed when he wakes up. A little less head, a lot more derriere. Oh, er, hello. Who wants stories? No, sir. A poem? My daddy says I should learn to shut my pie-hole. You might as well be saying you think that it's okay, BIG KID [BEN] The most common thing in life is life . . So innocent I (R) asked a thousand questions, MR WORMWOOD Well, take another! What do you want, Miss Chutney? MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. Miss Honey: Is your nickname glucose? FBI Agent Bob: MISS TRUNCHBULL You listen here, my dear, Zinnia Wormwood: I wonder what Miss Trunchbull is afraid of. Instead he said, "When a person is bad", and thereby introduced a revolutionary idea: that children could punish their parents. MATILDA sits down reading a book. The scene changes to the library. 1. MR WORMWOOD WOMAN: Well, take another! Three times two is six. We'll wait until she's gone, then we'll go get your doll. Harry Wormwood: Zinnia Wormwood: Now get out. This miracle . The Lord of the Rings . MRS WORMWOOD He screams and turns around, hitting ERIC's cap against ERIC's desk. Matilda, isn't it? Even if you're little, you can do a lot. Six times two is twelve. Just because you find that life's not fair, it Mr. Wormwood: Or even two, Bruce, Bye, Mrs Phelps! Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. If they start to squeeeeze out of your ears, you're going to need help. I've been trapped inside this (K) cage for ages, Harry Wormwood: MRS PHELPS DOCTOR Me, me, me, me. Like Romeo and Juliet, A curtain is wheeled in with the words "5 YEARS AGO" painted on it. I thought grown-ups weren't afraid of anything. [Jenny knocks on Ms. Trunchbull's door] Yes! MATILDA Yes. MR WORMWOOD Stand out from the crowd! Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. A little less fact, a lot more feel. MATILDA This is one of the best pick up lines to use after you have hugged someone for the first time. and look at reading. At night, they listened to the silence of their big, empty house, and they would imagine how beautiful it would be if it was filled with the sound of a child playing. Matilda: She then sniffs her way across the room, following the former path of the spotlight. You gotta be loud! [She stands and approaches MISS HONEY menacingly, towering over her.] CHILDREN [chanting with the rest of the class] [Matilda comes home from school, excitedly. It is said that we humans use only a tiny portion of our brains. PARTY ENTERTAINER Yes, your teacher. Miss Honey: Mrs. Wormwood: ESCAPOLOGIST [off-stage] [snatching the book from Matilda and tears the pages out of the cover]. Harry Wormwood: Harry Wormwood: so I pick it up and - No!