Wishing you all the best, Wow its the best to work out things with your husband because the most affected will be the children in case of a separation and no grantee that that new love will not fade anyway . I know that there are so many emotions coursing through you right now because you have found yourselfwanting someone else while in a relationship. The emotional bond between us died down throughout the years, but our bond was always very solid. When i met my husband, i cut off all contact with my Ex. I feel a strong sense of responsibility to my family to keep them safe and secure but horribly guilty for my feelings. 251K views 4 years ago This video was created in response to our first video: "Married But In Love With Someone Else?" Viewers commented on the first video wondering if Dr. Beam would have. I paid all the bills, I did all the daycare, I clean, I cook, my wife does girl weekends atleast 3x a year and honestly I never felt like my wife was that in to me. But at the same time inside I feel ruined because I miss her and I wonder what if. Truth be told, when you are focused on short-term consequences, you often wind up making decisions that might not be the best for you. At first I would answer with very friendly like responses,however, now we seem to have developed a physical and emotional relationship again, and my feelings have all come back. Hi Melanie, Thank you for your question. It feels like my marriage is done, and we are just married for 1 year. I contacted her to tell her about all the problems that weve had in our marriage. I want to save my marriage, my family, I want to be the man, who makes her happy and I understand, that it got so far, because I took our relationship for granted and didnt invest enough in it. You can make your life what you want it to be, with whoever you want it to be with. You might be adamantly opposed to the idea of divorce, and this could be a big part of why you're so conflicted. It seems they thought they would just do as the please and live a responsiblity free life and I would just hand the kids over for visits when he felt like. My husband got married for my children sake though I care for him and I dont want to hurt him because he is a good guy. Im in a position where I love my husband any my co-worker but I cant have both. But my best friend, who I was in love with since I was 15 has been a constant in my life for years. Prior to meeting my husband almost 6 years ago, I was in a very hot/cold relationship with someone for 7 years. I am afraid that I am vulnerable to someone that would give me what is missing in our relationship. So if youve chosen to restore your relationship with your spouse, lets take a look some of the most powerful tools that you can start implementing today! But when life is forced to start and plans will have to be made with this girl He will see how our marriage was good. I need help.. My husband and I have always been very close. but the one who has been with girls before which happens to be the one in the marriage that isnt working at all doesnt trust that her bestfriend / love of her life will leave her husband for her. The spouse even asked me to renew our vows but i said i dont want to. He threatened suicide so that I would just give him what he wants. Ive spent the past 18 years striving to be the perfect mom and corporate wife but I am afraid that I might have been faking it the whole time because I thought, This is as good as its going to get. I always knew that love would come find me someday, but never did I know that it would be you who was headed my way. We got back to a really nice comfortable place but he doesnt seem to want to put in the effort. I ended up marrying someone else, and it was after this that we actually became close friends. So the decision will be considering for children life only and the best for them financially. So now back to today, this guy Ive spoken to is giving me attention and I think about all the things my husband has put my through and Im torn because on one side I have my husband who Ive built a life with has messed up on me throughout the years and took me to find out about his mess ups and tried to deny them and then on the other side I feel that I really do have someone who values me, wants to accept my children as his own, he has a daughter that I easily love as my own. Before you come to any conclusion, i would clarify that i have not had any physical relation with my friend ever. Watching someone you love, Love somebody else. I dont want to lose that! I am separated from my husband but we still live under the same roof in separate parts of the house because were not in a good financial position to be approved for new rental places of our own. Yes, I do my duty as a wife, how painful though especially when I see the same hurts he does just by being himself, surfacing daily. I went to a therapist because my affair and guilt got me depressed. Wishing you all the best, I couldnt take it anymore and one night me and this other girl left a bar together and ripped the bandaid off. We talked and he expressed his needs and I have changed everything that he has asked to show my devotion to our marriage. It feels like my friend and I connect well spiritually, emotionally, through the way we were brought up, and we have great teamwork. One in a very unhappy marriage and the other in a stale marriage but they still communicate. This means that it needs to be nurtured in order to be kept alive. It can damage your well-being AND the new relationship. Hi Sam, I am sorry to hear that youre struggling with such a difficult situation right now. I have been married for 17 year and my wife is a lovely lady. Through talking to him Ive come to realize that Ive been hiding all the problems Ive had with my husband. So the very first thing we need to do it is to dissect the situation. I am not sure what I want; I am beyond confused and I also, just want to disappear. Or if I try to I quickly change subject and act all good because of his reaction. How will this affect me in the future? How will this affect the life of my spouse in the future? How will this affect the life of the person Im having an affair with in the future? How will this affect the lives of the people that matter to me in my life, like my children? Though there are many reasons that would make you want to stay, if you want things to change, you will have to push him away and focus the wellbeing of yourself and your family. If you can make people feel important in a genuine way, then you can really reinforce the bond between you. I dont know what to do anymore. My marriage has its problems, but overall, my husband is wonderful. We started by outlining how their distance began, and discovered that a lot of what frustrated him in his marriage was feeling undervalued. If You're Taken But Falling In Love With Someone Else, Do This Married but in love with someone else poems - Best Advice for Living a Though new love is always so tempting. Hi John, I am sorry to hear that you are in a tough situation. As I was saying above, in the majority of cases when a person isfalling for someoneoutside of their marriage, it is because something was lacking in the marriage. If ever two were one, then surely we . If you are a middle-aged woman looking to have a good time dating woman half your age, this article is for you. And a few months later Im having his baby. I have been engaging in sexting with a childhood boyfriend that I got back in contact with after more than 20 years of not talking. I had a long talk with the mother of my kids and we settled out our differences and we talked about whether we were still in love with eachother after 20years of being apart and come to find out we both are. Despite your desires, you still might be reluctant to get divorced so that you . But hes more down to earth, having this job since he was 17 years old and just live his life day by day. One of the keys for maintaining the bond between you and your significant other is showing them that you are genuinely interested in them. That person has now walked away to sort out his own life leaving me with a broken heart. My wife is a very loving and caring woman but she is a little older than me so she is stuck her ways, and now that weve been together so long Ive been feeling like she is just to comfortable to the point where I feel like Im just there. About a year ago I left on business and it was about 11 months long. I am torn whether i stay in a marriage and be happy but not in love or do i go to the other man who i have fallen deeply in love with? I feel trapped and alone and Ive lost the person I fell in love with as well. Speak to each other about the good things, reinforce them, make exciting plans and commit to exciting adventures. He gives me something my.husband doesnt. And I just couldnt believe someone actually treated me with respect and genuinely cared to hear what was bothering me what was on my mind. I have been happily married for 21 years. I have been patiently waiting for my husband while he has had this relationship for 3 months but im at my end. I decided at that point after a 2hr pnico/anxiety attack that I couldnt take it anymore. I want to fall back in love. Hi Im so glad I found your site Hi Jodi, thank you for sharing your story. continuing like you probably are now "married but in love with someone else.") Decide to end your marriage to be with your affair partner-marrying them or not. At this point, I encourage you to think about the results of whichever choice you decide to make. IMDb is the world's most popular and authoritative source for movie, TV and celebrity content. He didnt push me or force me into anything and it felt so Surreal that I questioned everything. He has never loved any woman in his heart apart from me. You have to take a step back and really think about the long-term effects on every person involved in the situation. 5. My husband is an amazing man, amazing father, but we have different needs and wants. However in their situation yes like the begining of every relationship its the honeymoon time but their relationship is so real that the honeymoon period lasted about two months they talk about everything with each other thats bothering them about their relationship wether it would hurt or not. We started talking for long everyday and started to share everything and now it has reached to the level that i feel like attached to her more than my wife (situation is same for my friend too). During that time, we have each had some feelings for each other at some time or another, but neither of us really mentioned it. Make time for romance, try out new activities together, and step outside of your comfort zones, together. So even when things are rough and youre in a sticky situation because youremarried but in love with another manor woman, if you really want to repair things between you and your spouse youve got to control your temper. I know Im a bit kinky so I tried to suggest soft things. He is faithful so that never crossed my mind, he just has physical disabilities that causes intercourse to be painful, and when it ceased so did all the intimacy. Its normal to have disagreements, it really is. I had resigned myself to this situation and decided to sit in the relationship due to our kids and financial commitments. I love you. Which I didnt want but I didnt want to keep fighting anymore and being told horrible things. So let me be very clear about something.