47. It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. 9. Arthur lived a short life, but none could doubt that it was a good one. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. 75. But half the time, it is a nightmare. What could go wrong? 20 Funny Out-of-Office Messages to Inspire Your Own [+ Templates] - HubSpot What to Say When Someone Calls You Cute? - Beezzly 4. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. 95. Everyone wants me, but no one dares! (Say it like he or. This one is bound to get a laugh. Some people spend all their time on their phone. Stand still, so I can hit you with my truck. 900+ MAXINE CARTOONS ideas | maxine, bones funny, funny quotes - Pinterest If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. 18. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. Youre a ground-hugger. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? funny response to are you still alive. Its no secret that essays take longer to write than typical text messages. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". 73. We all grow up as we get older. Not bad. Im a wreck of a human being, thats why! Id love to give you a nasty look, but it appears you already have one. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. Although for some, traveling to your partner might not be an option. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. The Nine Canonical Responses to 'U Mad,' the - Intelligencer But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. Still Alive synonyms - 44 Words and Phrases for Still Alive As anyone who knows anything about human biology will know, when a woman misses her period, that is a sign she is pregnant.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,100],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_13',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); Therefore, if she were to rely on your messages for her period, she would be pregnant by now. . Living the dream! It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. 100+ Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. 7. I just woke up like that one day. You sure have a bodacious rackfor a guy. Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world. 2. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . If someone is going to ask you the same old everyday questions, I dont think Im being unreasonable when I say theyre probably just going through the motions and not really interested in your answer. My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. Are those space pants? Have you been thinking? Id sue my parents if I had a face like yours. Are you flirting with me right now? Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. Sarcastic comebacks come in handy any time someone is behaving in a particularly annoying way. Unlikely, but worth a shot. Theres this one time when a cute guy/gal asked me if I have a boyfriend/girlfriend and I said yes because I didnt hear the question. It does seem like a massive gap doesnt it? The fact youve replied at all has come as a shock. Siri, why am I still single? Otherwise, we would still be with them today. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. I havent found anyone who matches my kinks yet. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Whats with all these questions? "Fine" is a boring conversation-killer. If you were twice as smart as you are now, youd be stupid. Because youre highly qualified. Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Why Give a Funny Response to an Everyday Question? I dont feel that great, but look! But, you should know that, I don't like you, already. Funny Responses to "How Are You?" (& Other Questions!) - Science of People When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. Shooting yourself in front of the person who asked. 45 Funny Memes About Life in 2023 - Happier Human 86 Funny and Flirty Responses To 'How Are You Doing?' - Monk at 25 [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. Most of the time, that is not true. 91. 11. If its better than yours Ill chalk it up as a win. Hey, whered you get that nose? 12. On Mars, cell phone reception might not be too good. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. Could be payday. 61. As for me, I cant even afford honey! However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Oct 13, 2021 - Explore Beverly Sadler Majkut's board "MAXINE CARTOONS", followed by 864 people on Pinterest. If they are not going to reply, perhaps the archaeologists who discover their phone will. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. I'm happy! He will be missed. Some of us are just destined to walk this world alone. 35. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Well, I was trying to be invisible but I guess that didnt work. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. "I'm alright, mate". Maybe you can Google it. Do I look like someone whos into cheesy things like romantic relationships?! I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. Keep talking. Physically? 48 smart and sarcastic lines and quotes that kick ass! You may join me, though. Don Draper? 1. Voltaire (philosopher), "As you get older, three things happen. For more information, please see our I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. provided, of course, that he really is dead." Are you alive? - Random Answers - Fanpop Required fields are marked *. Oof, gotta hide! Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. If your best friends are worrying about you due to your new break up, this one you can use to make them feel relaxed. I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. Dont wake me up yet. It's one of the best replies to "How are you?". You should really come with a warning label. Im in a loving, committed relationship with my bed. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. original sound - Tyren Sams. A A A Remember the time when you hated your ex too much that you wanted him dead? 3 I'm Just Wondering How You Are In fact, they're taking too much of it. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. It depends on what or who I compare myself to. 55. This is perhaps not for the faint-hearted. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. Thomas Andrew Lehrer (/ l r r /; born April 9, 1928) is an American musician, singer-songwriter, satirist, and mathematician, who later taught mathematics and musical theater.He recorded pithy and humorous songs that became popular in the 1950s and 1960s. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Your secrets are always safe with me. I have a feeling that my soulmate is somewhere out there pushing a pull door right now. How impressive! 52. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. 1. While I'd love to give you the technique behind his funny comeback I can't. He may simply be one of the quickest minds in the West. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. Alive Jokes. Hanging on. Could have been worse, right. 6. 7. Not even the fussiest, or clingiest person in the world would expect a dead person to reply to them. However, you can check out some of our ideas if you want to shake things up and change how you respond to how are you?. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! Playful and sassy dig, then blocked. Because Ive been waiting for you all my life. Thats funny, because everyone on it is a prick. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 30. (Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. 69. You might just find one. Because I prefer the company of dogs/cats rather than humans. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. Thats why Im single. Alexa's response: No, that's not true. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? More like give me a sign that. Maybe because I lick my plate clean after having a scrumptious meal. When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. 82. Aeldrion 5 yr. ago. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." 51 Funny and Flirty Responses to "How Are You" Texts Spiritually? At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Im reminded of how unfair life is every time I see you. Make sure you give witty responses only to persons close to you, or you know they wont get offended by such responses. I do admite that sometimes I hate life, sometimes my hate being in the world! Im in a relationship with myself. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. Perhaps you are just such an exciting person. Lets just say if I was a Pokmon, my ability would be Oblivious., Listen, that feeling we call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. Do you want the short or the detailed version? Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. (Act suspicious of everything and everyone!). How to Respond to An Insult With Humor? 41+ Best Comebacks 25 Witty Comebacks To Use On Terrible Pick Up Lines If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Life is up to something. How are you? 14. You don't need to miss them, because you are willing to travel to them, and kiss them. Totally fine! If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. Its more likely that theyre just being a bad friend. Just because you have a dick doesnt mean you need to act like one. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Im not single. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. *sips wine/tea*. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. 42. Is It A Bad Idea To Lose My Virginity To An Old Crush? My guardian angel be like 2. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. funny response to are you still alive 34 Best Responses To Late Replies (While Texting) How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Maybe I am a kindergartner? Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? Being single is much better than being married. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. 20. Use them as you see fit when someone pokes their nose on your relationship status. I'm Not Sure How to Answer That!? How To Answer "Why Are You Single?": 33 Ideas - Elite Daily June 14, 2022; pros and cons of stem cell therapy for knees . Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." Im too fine for the ugly, yet too ugly for the fine. Tell her that you're there for her to make her laugh, if she needs some company. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! How to answer when someone asks me, "Are you still alive - Quora Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. 1. 9. People will often tell you Im too busy to text you back. Steven Wright (comedian). Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. 101 Funny And Witty Responses To The Question "How Are You?" 87. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the. It can be good to just say it how it is. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. Sometimes, being emotional stops us from replying to the messages of others. 84. Its too small to be out there all alone. Your email address will not be published. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. 85. 4. Why not laugh about it and allow it to bring us closer together? . Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." Did someone leave your cage open? Still with us. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. 1. This one is good. Could Be Better. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. The government? What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. I hated you the moment I met you, and I still hate you. More like, How I Met That Jerk I Quickly Forgot About. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. 74. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. 54. 99. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. How are you? could be much more than a basic question, but we tend to stick to the same old, half-hearted responses. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. 4. You can use variations, such as, "Well enough to chat with you if you wish.". I have a gold watch that belonged to him. He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Suppose you're about to join a group when they stop by and ask if you want to join. "My level of sarcasm has gotten to a point where I don't even know if I am kidding anymore.". No, not really. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. 3. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! (bonus points to you if you sing it). 58. 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition 3. 5 Ways To Respond To Hey Stranger And Other Annoying Texts Susan Winter, relationship expert, and bestselling author, This article was originally published on Dec. 15, 2020. *Siri activates front camera*. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. via: Pexels / George Pak. If you don't want to explain how you're feeling, then don't. Great, because my name wasnt in todays obituaries. However, I dont recall anything about morons. 88. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. Why some QAnon believers think JFK Jr is still alive - and about to 83. No, waitIm actually plural. Congrats, guys! Scroll down! Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. How to respond to an ex asking how you are? Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. You're the reason God created the middle finger. 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). Your 3rd @ has one shot to make a three or you die. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. If I was doing any better, I would hire you to enjoy it with me. 5 Opening Texts She HAS to Respond To (And Why) 1) "Hey, it's that really charming, irresistible guy from last night" 2) "How's your week looking? 38. Im sorry. (This line came from the cartoon show. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. This is another funny response that you can use to say that you did a little something different this morning. "Hey You, I'm really good. There are nosy people everywhere! 2023 LovePanky.com Privacy Policy | Terms of Service | About Us | Write for Us | Contact Us, How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU, How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room, 20 wise medieval insults you could bring back into trend, 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you, How to be funny and make people love your company, 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use, How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever, 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor, The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company. I dont know. Nikhil Saluja, "Immortality . 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. Why would you talk to someone at their convenience when they wouldnt speak to you when you needed them.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_2',106,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_3',106,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-medrectangle-3-0_1');.medrectangle-3-multi-106{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. There are many other euphemisms you could use, though: Still ticking. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. Because if you are, youre doing it right. 4. What? 16. I was doing great, before you came. Does anyone ever say anything interesting when you ask them that? When they play it cool, play it ice cold. You should eat some of that makeup, so you can be pretty on the inside. Still Alive GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY 2 I ask for your birth chart one time, and suddenly, I'm a mind-reading witch that knows what you're thinking. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. Finnish with this conversation! There is no gray area (<brain matter joke): either you are brain-dead or you are not. Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. Youre like Monday: no one likes you. 100+ Funny Things to Ask Alexa (with its Hilarious Responses) - ITTVIS You don't want to give the same, bland answer all the time. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes (6 quotes) - goodreads.com Shane from The L Word? I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Everything is always better on payday right!? 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. Checklists & Reminders! This one is a bit depressing, which is why you should watch when you use it. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. 1. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. I've Been Thinking About You Too They might not be with you right now, but they will always be on your mind. 16. Alive Quotes (560 quotes) - Goodreads Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: Whether you're in the jury or on the witness stand or on trial yourself, it's a tense and nail-biting environment. Alexa's response: I'm sorry, Dave. WHY!? Stupidity isnt a crime. Stop asking me why Im single! This was one of the quickest ways there was to send a message from one person to another. Hey, I can see straight to the back of your head when I look into your eyes! I like being single. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. A real low-life. Maybe the reply is just taking a long time to come back. Rather than kicking yourself later when you think of something clever you should have said, keep a few witty insults and comebacks at the ready, just in case.