Please see our terms and conditions and disclaimer. Previous. "Some sad news from Australia.the inventor of the boomerang grenadedied today. carnac the magnificent curses The character was introduced in 1964. May your only daughter take up with a yak of another. . Carnac the Magnificent: [Opening envelope] What's the first thing you do when you hold up a liquor store? Q: What does a masseuse do to your dub-dub? Description. . (Original post) Gladys Knight and the Pips. Ed McMahon was a huge part of the bit. Q: Name a fawn, a lawn and a yawn. Here's how it played out on air. May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits. Q: What do you call getting hit with a fistfull of peanuts. Johnny Carson fans: Do you have a favorite "Carnac The Magnificent The book is {\it May You! CARNAC: May a diseased yak drop his cud in your hooped A: 20,000 Leagues Beneath the Sea. The Phantom of the Opera, The Lion King, and Donald Trumps mouth. Q: What's a rude thing to say when you're dropping a bomb Tenor.com has been translated based on your browser's language setting. Our users have written 2 comments and reviews about Carnac, and it has gotten 25 likes. Q: What do you need after Hamburger Helper? Carnac was added to AlternativeTo by Gbeworld on Mar 16, 2013 and this page was last updated Oct 20, 2021. all positive negative relevance date. , The Question: How do you spell lahgahbahtahqua? Here's Johnny Carson's Personal Papers, and How You Can See Them Im Carnac had a trademark entrance in which he always turned the wrong direction when coming onstage and then tripped on the step up to Johnny Carsons desk during his 30-year run on the Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson (1962-1992). "May your finger get stuck in your nose, and the nail continue to grow", (I have forgotten the origin of this one). Question: "What does a doctor use to look at your kaleido?" Stumble It! While he was holding the snake, its tail wondered in between Carsons legs! may your mother stop receiving her child support checks fromthe pittsburgh steelers front four. The Question: Whats the difference between a dollar bill and LeBron James? There are more than 10 alternatives to Carnac for Mac, Windows, Linux and Xfce. Currently showing results page 1,636 of 2,021. Message: Undefined variable: user_membership, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/views/user/popup_modal.php (Jews never kneel in prayer.). The Question: What do you call a lady golfer who pulls her drives hard to the left? A: A potato, Burt Reynolds and Sgt. Q: When should you plan on making a rest stop at a gas ", -- -----------------------------------------------------------------------------Rudy Rumohr Jr. 3339 N. Charles St Apartment 1-ALUUCP: ihnp4!whuxcc!jhunix!ins_armr -or- Baltimore, MD 21218 seismo!umcp-cs!jhunix!ins_armr -or- allegra!hopkins!jhunix!ins_armrARPANET: ins_armr%jhunix@wiscvm.ARPA. The curse concept was created by "Tonight Show" head writer and Woody Allen collaborator Marshall Brickman. Q: What will you get if you ignore a trucker's blockade? A: Putting on the dog. May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup. Carnac The Magnificent Quotes May a diseased yak squat in your hot tub. Q: What is the total of Bo Derek and Phyllis Diller? The Question: Name 8 things that will soften your brain. Best "Karnak" (Johnny Carson) jokes? - narkive "How you must dread going to bed!" exclaimed Cynic. Q: What have the oil companies given our wildlife? Describe the sound you hear when a sheep blows up!! A: O'Hare. Page, Return to Carnac the Vote Devining Consultant Page. Q: How long does a United States Congressman serve? Johnny Carson "Carnak The Magnificent" One Liners. CARNAC: May you fall asleep under a camel with post nasal These jokes aren't mine, copyright on them is held by the Q: What do you call getting slapped around by a German king? A: An emerald, a screwdriver, and Chuck Barris. May a diseased yak leave a gift on your new carpet. My favorite Carnac(sp?) The Answer: An I-Phone, a cable bill, and a BMW lease. A: Double hernia. Q: Name a bake-off, a hiccough and a ripoff. The Answer: Because the employees are smoking the 11 herbs and spices. Eds Intro: Ladies (if any) and gentlemen. Carnac the Magnificent was a comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Q: What happens when your lorne rots? Carnac the Magnificent Wikipedia Republished // WIKI 2 A: Mr. Coffee. The Answer: No more years! CARNAC: May a camel chip float in your martini. A: Groundhog. Get Image May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. So we see that as we get closer and closer to the Messianic Era when the world will go back to a perfected state, curses are reverting all around us just as the Vilna Gaon predicted. share. One was a bottle with a message in it that read, "Help! ), These comedic missteps were an indication of Carnacs true prescient abilities. tissue. Q: What did Sonny Bono used to be? , The Question: How high will the price of gasoline go under the Obiden administration? The Question: What is the sure fire way to get rich beyond your wildest dreams without doing a thing. . May a sick ox make bubbles in your hot tub. Q: What would you find in Superman's bathroom? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. CARNAC: May a weird holy man use a Black and Decker tool on More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! . Q: What does a president look for in a singles bar? Q: How many hospitals has Evil Knievel been in? Carson would place each envelope against his forehead and predict the answer, such as Gatorade. A: Tail of Two Cities. Saint Sophia Cathedral is a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the most significant landmarks of Kiev, Ukraine. A: 2001. A: Black feet. Q: What do you say when you want to get your Gung to stop? A: You asked for it. Q: How do you spell kkkirsucla? ANSWER: Nestea Plunge. "A triple and a double, catcher's and fielder's, and Dolly Parton""Name two big hits, two big mitts..and a famous country singer! Johnny Carson Carnac GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY While all were memorable, its her duet with Carson thats particularly unforgettable. violence? So I created my own character, CLARNAC the Magnificent and created my own material as a tribute and for my own amusement. CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT ED McMAHON: Heaven has no brighter star than our next stellar guest, that omnipotent master of the east and former manicurist to Howard Hughes, Carnac the Magnificent. A: Fun with Dick and Jane. Forum Novelties Men's Giant Turban Costume Accessory May your Perrier water be secretly bottled in Tijuana. Another ancient Biblical curse that seems to have reverted back to normal is Noahs curse of his son Ham that his descendants (who lived in Africa) shall be slaves to the descendants of Shem and Japheth (who lived in Europe and Asia) - see Genesis 9:25 as slavery in the modern area has been virtually abolished, and even racial discrimination has been greatly diminished thanks to the Civil Rights movement. Sunday, 16 December 2018. lets have a big round of applause for Clarnac the Magnificent. Carnac the Magnificent What do you look for when you're tracking three whackas? Q: What's the only thing President Carter didn't promise MORE OF THE BEST OF CARNAC THE MAGNIFICENT. 5 results for "carnac the magnificent" RESULTS. CARNAC: May a crazed Arab repairman board up your Q: What do you call not getting busted? The entire studio erupts in hysterical laughter] A: Ninety-nine and nine-tenths. puppies and red-eye gravy. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes have been hermetically sealed and kept in a #2 size mayonnaise jar on Dr. Faucis porch since noon today. [1] 36 relations: Billboard (magazine), Billet reading, Bob Arbogast, CNN, Columbia University Press, CRC Press, Curse, Divination, Ed McMahon, Ernie Kovacs, . In the ongoing sketch, Carnac would draw a sealed envelope from a mayonnaise jar, and hold it to his forehead. Q: Name two movies and a suppository. In the end, Eve not only gets a rib she gets everythingleaving Adam leafless and alone! Johnny Carson Tonight Show script collection 2630 Q: What should be posted on Howard Cosell's tongue? The Answer: They found no brain activity. A: Sale of the Century. The character was taken from Steve Allen's essentially identical "Answer Man" segment, which Allen performed during his tenure as host of The Tonight Show in the 1950s. Introducing: Carnac the Magnificent In fact, had Bilaam been successful in his attempt to curse us, the Jewish people would have been destroyed, G-d forbid. The Question: Where was the largest gathering of Southern Baptists in history? May the nurse in your hospital room bring you a frozen bed pan. A: Gatorade. While in the past it was very common for women to die in labor, it is now very rare in modern hospitals. night? HUMOR - THE BEST OF CARNAC - QUESTION: What would you find in - RomWell A: Igloo. Oh, I forgot! Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. Hand made Food is produced in abundance with machines that allow just a few people to operate massive farms with ease. A: Bi-focal. [+6] - George - 11/14/2011 Answer: A goober, a cruller, and OmSigDavid. Jokes would also be topical; for instance, "Over 105 in Los Angeles" (presumably referring to the temperature) instead led to "Under the Reagan plan, how old would you have to be to collect Social Security?" In article <42@kestrel.ARPA> t@kestrel.ARPA writes: > Comedic or not, "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits" is. JOHNNY CARSON'S MAGICAL BEGINNINGS. A: Fit to be tied. The Great Carnac! (hat-making Tutorial & Video of Skit) Check the NSFW checkbox to enable not-safe-for-work images. May you get your first French kiss from a diseased camel. Find Funny GIFs, Cute GIFs, Reaction GIFs and more. THE BEST OF CARNAC - QUESTION: What do you hear when you put - RomWell If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember "Carnac the Magnificent", a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. . Q: What does it say on the side of Phyllis Diller's dress? , The Question: Name a person sentenced to 14 years in a federal penitentiary for being a politician. The Carnac character and routine also closely resemble Ernie Kovacs Mr. Mouse over chart for play descriptions. Show"? A: Pussy Willow. CARNAC: May your favorite aunt develop a crust on her hip. . his neck? One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically "divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. 5.0 out of 5 stars 2. Q: Name three things that go to the bathroom outdoors. The Tonight Show: four-digit numbers (ostensibly the last four digits of an audience member's phone number).Carson Carnac the Magnificent: Carson plays a psychic . 42 Photos Capture The Art Of Cool - msn.com Zippo? A: KKK, IRS, UCLA. The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson - LiquiSearch CARNAC: May a desert rat sunbathe on your radar range. Story. the Denver Nuggets. CARNAC: May a swarm of gay chiggers open a disco on your The Answer: Under Willie Brown and through Joe Bidens colon. A: Kaiser wrap. One of Carson's most well-known characters, Carnac was a "mystic from the East" who could psychically"divine" unknown answers to unseen questions. Dont break the concentration of the mystic from the East, or he will place a curse on you! Q: What's the one thing Sammy Davis is not wearing around Q: What do you call a drink made with un-cola and prune alley? As a child of four can Carpenter During Sweeps 1984. A: Rub-a-dub-dub. 35+ Johnny Carson Quotes From The Famous Talk Show Host And - Kidadl the memoirs of Richard Nixon. How to Curse in Yiddish} by Joe Singer.Some of my favorites: May you sweat in labor a hundred and sixty years, then give birth to anice turle-hedgehog-porcupine. -- -------------------------------------------------------------"they forcibly extracted the word 'but' from his vocabulary, and locked him in a room with 10 economists"-------------------------------------------------------------. Ed: (Ed points to the nearest exit and hands Clarnac the first envelop and says) Envelop number 1. A: The big ten. Clarnac: I hope it has instructions to get out of here. hope chest. A: Ultra-conservative. The Question: How did the dinosaurs become extinct? The character would emerge from behind the show's curtain accompanied by Indian music, and make his way towards the desk, where he would invariably stumble on the step in front of the desk and lose his balance. Imgflip Pro Basic removes all ads. 99 $28.11 $28.11. No more years! Q: What sign did Queen Elizabeth hang on Princess Q: How much time has Governor Brown spent in California A: Pillbury cooking contest, a spasm of the diaphragm and A: Stick 'em up! A: Roots. . And even people who dont work at all need not starve, as food banks and charities abound, and governments provide welfare. One? Q: Name a lord, an award and a fraud. A: Big Ben, Joe Nameth and the candidates' campaign The answer was always an outrageous pun. Curses, Curses, Curses . CARNAC: May a crazed furniture refinisher stain your The character was introduced in 1964. folks who ran "The Tonight Show" in the 70's. The audience was silent as Carson and Midler sang an a cappella version of the song Heres That Rainy Day. Its a sweet and sincere moment that youd be hard pressed to find in todays late-night lineup. Q: How do you tell a Sha not to do something? A: David Frost. Q: When is the next RTD bus scheduled to arrive? Pretending to psychically concentrate, Carnac periodically asked for "complete silence" from the audience, and McMahon would retort that he often got it.[6]. . May there be more than one of you to bear the mountain of misery and griefI wish upon you. A: Snap, crackle, pop. Q: What was dat hippie smoking? The announcement implied Carnac was responsible for some scandal or disaster currently in the news, as "And now, the great seer, soothsayer, and sage, Carnac the Magnificent." Q: Name one guy who's rich after April 15th. "Carnak: Do-whacka-doEd: Do-whacka-doCarnack: What do you look for when you're hunting do-whackas?Carnak: Dippity-doEd: Dippity-doCarnak: What collects on your dippity in the morning?A. The one that had McMahon and Carson nearly rolling on the floor with sustained laughter was Sis boom bah. CARNAC: May your wife give mouth-to-mouth resusitation to A: "Sorry bub, no pub." No one knows the contents of Q: Where is the American dollar headed? Q: What do you call a guy who streaks Minneapolis and St. Q: Name three people who like to bomb. Reviewed in the United States on April 2, 2015. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof. If you are of a certain age, you might yet remember Carnac the Magnificent, a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. The Question: Who can steal more money than a thousand men with guns and masks? [2] As Allen acknowledged in his book The Question Man, this bit had been created in Kansas City in 1951 by Bob Arbogast and used on The Tom Poston Show in New York where it eventually ended up on The Steve Allen Show, much to the surprise of both Arbogast and Allen. Q: What noise does Mr. McMahon's liver make? contest. CARNAC: May a weird customs inspector discover a secret Clarnac: This crowd is tougher than a camel pot roast. Metapost: Let's talk COTW, kids - The Comics Curmudgeon (the question), Sherman LangSystems Design Engineering "May you have an interesting life! ", "May the fairy god-camel leave a lump on your pillow! ), The Question: Who is the largest conservative in the Republican Party? QUESTION: Describe someone cleaning his Hoffman. . The Question: Name three famous puppets. doctors. (You should die young enough for her to walk there under her own steam.). . Q: Name an address Anita Bryant will never have. Internet Forwards One of those that I remember was "May a diseased yak marry your sister!" "May a desert weirdo lower his figs into your mother's soup." Q: What does an alligator get on welfare? ED: I liked that but I seem to be the only one. Its hard to divine when you cant see. Watch Carson episodes every night on Antenna TV at 10:00PM ET / 7:00PM PT and 4:00PM ET / 1:00AM PT!Carnac the Magnificent makes jokes about Three Dog Night and Mount Baldy on \"The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson\" in 1974.JOHNNY CARSON PLAYLISTSAnimals http://bit.ly/carson_animalsBloopers http://bit.ly/carson_bloopersCarnac http://bit.ly/carson_carnacCelebrities http://bit.ly/carson_celebritiesChristmas http://bit.ly/carson_christmasComedians http://bit.ly/carson_comediansMonologues http://bit.ly/carson_monologuesSkits http://bit.ly/carson_skitsMusic http://bit.ly/carson_musicFOLLOW JOHNNY CARSONYOUTUBE: \"Subscribe\" http://bit.ly/johnnysubYOUTUBE MAIN MENU: http://bit.ly/johnny_menuYOUTUBE PREMIUM: http://youtube.com/johnnycarsontvFACEBOOK: \"Like\" http://fb.com/johnnycarson TWITTER: http://twitter.com/#!/JohnnycarsonGOOGLE+: http://bit.ly/johnnygplusJOHNNY CARSON IS AVAILABLE ON:ITUNES http://bit.ly/johnnyitunesDVD: http://bit.ly/carsondvdsAMAZON: http://bit.ly/amzn_carsonGOOGLE PLAY: http://bit.ly/carson_gplay\"carnac on three dog night and mount baldy\" \"three dog night\" \"mount baldy\" \"johnny carson\" \"johnny carson youtube\" \"tonight show\" \"johnny carson show\" comedy \"best of johnny carson\" Carson \"johnny carson best moments\" \"the best of johnny carson\" \"johnny carson theme song\" \"best of carson\" \"the tonight show with johnny carson\" \"tonight show johnny carson\" \"tonight show band\" \"jonny carson\" \"carnac the magnificent\" \"carnac\" \"johnny carson carnac\" \"humor\" \"hilarious\" \"funniest moments\" \"video clip\" \"live tv\" a #2 mayonnaise Carnac the Magnificent In one of his most famous sketches, Johnny Carson channeled his psychic abilities as "Carnac the Magnificent." Carson, dressed in a turban and cape, would predict the. Q: What do CIA agents have to remember to go to the Q: Describe the sound you make when you break loose from a Q: What do you do if a Chinese laundry ruins your shirts? Q: What's the best thing to do if you swallow a hand There are a couple of ideas I've had to make this and I'm not sure which one would work best - and possibly there are other . On one occasion frequently rebroadcast on anniversary shows, Carson's desk was replaced with a lightweight balsa-wood version; this allowed Carson to trip and smash through it. Q: What do you look for when you're tracking a shoo-be-doo-be? Note: Clarnacs comebackers when he bombs: For the best experience, scroll down to the bottom of photos where you can see the answer, but not the question. CARNAC: May a crazed weightlifter clean and jerk your Carnac the Magnificent. Q: When you do get from a near-sighted rabbi? NO ONE! RMMD: And so the "Buck and Truck Cursed Swinger Saga" begins. 1981 | TV-14 | CC. ED: And now I hold in my hand the last envelope. , The Question: Whats the name of Madonnas latest hit single? Question Man". The resulting jokes often involved puns or wordplay; for example, "The La Brea Tar Pits" was the answer to "What do you have left after eating the La Brea Tar Peaches? compartment in your sister. A: Bible belt. There were skits performed such as Carnac the Magnificent, an "all-knowing seer," and the elderly Aunt Blabby. My question to you net.joke-sters out there: What is the funniest "ComedicCurse" you have heard? A: The 11th Hour. Carnac the Magnificent: [Holding the envelope to his head] Shogun. Organized in groups of 10. How about May an unclean yak sit on your dinner. Q: Where does the line go outside an unemployment office? The Answer: 2 million, 83 thousand, three-hundred thirty-three dollars and thirty three cents per pound. Our Story; Our Chefs A: Deep freeze. Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? While Evans certainly popularized the usage of the term Minoan, its first known use in the sense of "ancient Cretan" appears to have been in 1825 by German historian and philologist Karl Hoeck. In 1987, Myrtle Young came on The Tonight Show to show off her rare collection of potato chips. May a crazy holy man set fire to your nose hair. Return to Political Humor The curses were basically middle eastern curses and would not be considered politically correct today. A: Elmer, Roger and Billy Carter. Carson quickly revealed his personal bowl of potato chips hidden strategically behind the desk and Myrtles shock turned into uncomfortable laughter. Q: What do you see if you hold your hernia up to a mirror? After reading the answer, scroll down for the punch line and laughter. . The Temple was destroyed, and Israel was left with neither kings nor kingdom. Q: What do you get when you squat on a rosy red fire? | Replica prop, Johnny carson, Johnny Explore Men's Fashion Men's Accessories Men's Hats Uploaded to Pinterest Johnny Carson Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. A: Executive action. The Answer: Because they are afraid someone will clean them. Clarnac: If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Scope and Content Script (Annotated "Ray") Box 4, Folder 44. , The Question: Who is the longest surviving member of the Japanese Air Force? Q: Name three things you won't find in Los Angeles. , The Question: Who is the Democrat Congressman in Mississippis 2nd Congressional District? Line: 208 Ed: I hold in my hand the envelopes. QUESTION: What do they put on horses at the Preparation H Ranch? Carson as Carnac the Magnificent Carnac the Magnificent was a recurring comedic role played by Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. Get Image May your only daughter take up with a yak of another faith. The Answer: DOJ-CIA-NSA-IRS-AOC-FBI-BIDEN. CARNAC: May your desert pension fund be managed by Jimmy May your mother-in-law not have to be carried to your funeral. More Quotes from Carnac the Magnificent show! - Night Scribe The Question: My grandpaw walked five miles a day when he was 60. The Question: Clarnac hit a fat lady with my car. sister's hooped skirt. May a toothless holy man give your grandmother a hickey. Q: What would you keep if you had to choose between sex and Carnac Unlimited Send a link or joke to a friend "I dream my stories," said the Author. Q: What would you see if Orson Welles dropped his pants? prune juice? Ron Toth, Jr., Proprietor 72 Charles Street Rochester, New Hampshire 03867-3413 Phone: 1-603-335-2062 Email: ron.toth@timepassagesnostalgia.com Related Topics. Function: view, File: /home/ah0ejbmyowku/public_html/application/controllers/Main.php A: Revenge of the Pink Panther. , The Question: What do you call a Methodist who is not afraid of water? Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned psychic, could answer questions before seeing them. Q: What made Ludwig blind as well as deaf? Baseball-Reference.com Win Probability - New York Yankees vs. Boston Red Sox, May 30 1961 t1 b1 t2 b2 t3 b3 t4 b4 t5 b5 t6 b6 t7 b7 t8 b8 t9 b9 BOS 50% NYY. , The Question: What is the official state bird of Mississippi? The act involved a variation of the magician's billet reading trick: divining the answer to a question written on a card sealed inside one of the envelopes, announcing it to the audience, then tearing open the envelope to reveal the question. If laughter is the best medicine, this crowd doesnt have a prescription. Carnac held each envelope to his forehead while "divining" the answer, then tore open the end of the envelope and loudly blew into it before removing the index card with the question. Ed McMahon would hand him stack of sealed envelopes with questions. Paul Rosenzweig, George Washington University law professor and former deputy assistant secretary for policy in the Department of Homeland Security, told Yahoo News via email it reminded him of Johnny Carson's "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch "where he knows the . After Carnac entered and stumbled, Ed would continue as follows: "I hold in my hand the envelopes. A: Mop and Glow. A: "Yes man." If a joke bombed, Carnac went after the audience with all kinds of creative curses including, "May the Shah of Iran seek refuge under your sister's skirt!" . Modern Day Curses - Monte R Anderson - Author A: Lo-fat. The Question: Name three things that always tell the truth. A: Kirk Douglas, Terhan Bey and Earl Butz. These curses were always absurd, and many of them involved yaks, as in: "May an unclean yak sit on your dinner." "May a sick yak leave a gift in your sock drawer." "May a bloated yak change the temperature of your . A: Blazing Saddles. Q: How did Marlon Perkins explain the rash on his thigh? Johnny Carson Carnac the Magnificent replica prop hat. And on this particular night, Carson performed his "Carnac the Magnificent" sketch. Then, he would read the question: What does an alligator get on welfare? Some of the jokes were feeble, and McMahon used pauses after terrible puns and audience groans to make light of Carsons lack of comic success (Carnac must be used to quiet surroundings), prompting Carson to return an equal insult. Function: view, Recurring character on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, May the Bird of Paradise Fly Up Your Nose, "Ed McMahon,'Tonight Show' Stalwart, Dies", "STERNAC THE IMPROBABLE RETURNS WITH ANSWERS ABOUT NASCAR, GAMESTOP, AND JASON KAPLAN'S DIET", Here's Johnny: Magic Moments from the Tonight Show, Race Through New York Starring Jimmy Fallon, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Carnac_the_Magnificent&oldid=1065449461.